Pumpkin Farms and Skeletons

Holy crow! This week has been insane...

We had another Pack Meeting, which David continued to hate. This time it was the Rain Gutter Regatta, in which you needed to make a boat out of a plastic hull, some clay, a straw and a paper sail, then put it in a long gutter they had all set up and blow it to the end of the race course. Since there were a lot of boys doing this, David wanted to opt out. The more Doug and I tried to convince him (or threaten him, whatever) the more he resisted. His Den Leader tried talking him into it, at which point I backed way off. We didn't seem to be making any headway. Eventually, under tremendous duress, he managed to participate. Of course once he actually DID the boat race, he thought it was fun, and he volunteered to do it again. Dad swears he's going pull the boy's spleen out of his nose if he keeps up the "I'm too shy" routine.

The next day was a trip to the Art Museum with the homeschoolers. There were about 30 of us all told, but they split the group up into age divisions, and ultimately we were in a group with only 5-6 kids in it. They did a tour for us with a Halloween theme, going around and showing all the various "scary critters" in the artwork. This means there were a lot of African masks, Mayan pottery, lots of tribal stuff. Duck Grandma had sent everyone large envelopes for Halloween, and both kids got black Halloween t-shirts. Since this was the Halloween tour, they deemed it totally appropriate to wear the shirts to the museum, so both of them were running around with a skeleton theme going. (I put a black bow in Lauren's hair to match her shirt. Then she wanted her face painted "like a skeleton," so I put a band of white across her eyes and then filled in "eye sockets" with black face paint, and painted her lips black. Sounds awful, but matched with her little skeleton shirt and black bow, she really was quite a hit.

Since there were so few kids in the group, the tour went very quickly (they're used to classes of 30 or so, where you're always trying to settle everyone down and take a nose count), so the guide says, "Hmmm, looks like we're done early. So...uh...I guess you can--"
"Do you have any Greek art?" The kid was in perhaps 3rd or 4th grade.
"Greek? Well...yeah. It's over in ... uh ... well, do you all want to go?" Everyone said sure, and we got to go trooping over to a section of the art museum with lots of sculptures and pots. The tour guide started to explain one of the pieces. "Now this one is of a baby, and his name was--"
"HERCULES!" This must be the kid's obsession du jour.
"Right, Hercules. Now he was the son of a mortal woman and Zeus, so when he was born, the legend says, Herra was very angry with the baby to she sent--"
"SNAKES!"
"Right again! She sent snakes to kill the baby."
"But Hercules was so strong that he STRANGLED them!" said the boy triumphantly.
"Exactly. And we think that if these arms here hadn't broken off, we would see the baby Hercules with his arms around the snakes, presumably killing them." She went on a little more about how the sculptures were made, and tried to wrap up the tour again.
"Do you have any swords? For, like, knights?" This time it was a different boy.
"Um...sure. Do you all want to go again? We have time." The kids all said sure, and on the way down the stairs we stopped and looked out the window into Forest Park, where a perfectly leafless, silver tree stood.

Lauren was thoroughly enchanted.

Apparently there's an artist who makes stainless steel trees and gets them installed in parks all over the world. That's an interesting job to have...make sure that the world is populated by mythic, silver trees. Beats pushing paper around all day.

Down the stairs we went into an ornate room with gorgeous wooden floors and cases full of plate armor, swords and cross-bows. Most of the boys immediately plastered themselves against the glass with "oohs" and "aahs" and comments like, "Oh, man, that would SO hurt!" or "Wow, look at THAT one!" Ah, yes. The boundless ability of man to figure out different ways to kill himself. This would be the hacking, slicing and piercing phase, as opposed to our later preferences for puncturing and exploding.

She talked for awhile about knights, the weight plate armor, the role of squires, the role of chainmail, and then absolutely ended the tour with, "OK, time's up, if you'll just follow me to the lobby..."

Lauren had a wonderful time, but she expected to be able to paint, for some reason. David was less enthusiastic, but he figured it was at least alright. Being able to throw coins into the fountain helped make up for that a little bit.

We got one more day off, and then we went to an open house that was put on by the local branch of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA). We got to tour their offices and look at the software programs they use to predict the weather, how they issue weather warnings, and we got to see the doppler radar up close and get an explanation of how it works. There was also a contingent of ham radio...oh, wait, I mean Amateur radio operators, all wearing pins that said, "When all else fails...amateur radio works!" We also had someone from Emergency Management bring their portable command center...essentially a trailer packed with computers, radios, and whatever else you'd need to coordinate a bunch of people. The Red Cross was also there, and they explained to the kids about how they make sure that they're there whenever anything bad happens. I think they liked the idea that there are a lot of people out there wanting to help out others. We also got to talk to the meteorologists, and play a little bit with an evaporation pool and an anemometer (anyone? Little flippy thing that spins around and measures wind speed).

And wouldn't you know it, the next day was another Scout event, and this time David went to the Pumpkin Farm. I, on the other hand, was suffering from a stunning splitting headache (bordered on a migraine) and did NOT go, but Dad said a wonderful time was had by all.

The Great Return

Well, we're back!

We went camping with the Boy Scouts; it was a Pack-wide thing, but of course the Dens kind of kept together.

We got there very, VERY late (did anyone notice that employment in the tech industry looks very much like indentured servitude these days? Seems like Daddy works all day, every evening, and every weekend to one extent or another) and had to set up our tents in the dark. (Not as hard as it sounds, somebody had a heck of a good lantern to work by, plus the tents were easy.)

We were ready for most of it; we knew it would be cold, so we had closed-cell insulating pads to sleep on, plus cushy foam to go on top. We had cold-weather sleeping bags, we brought heavy clothes, wool socks and hats. (See, 48 degrees in a tent is way different than 48 degrees from the inside of a house. Ahem.)

We were at a campsite at Cuivre State Park. After we got tents put up, we cooked some hot dogs over the fire (much to the total delight of the kids), and shortly after that, the kids announced that they were tired and wanted to go to bed. We were shocked, but bundled them up for bed and put them into their sleeping bags. David insisted on sleeping in the small tent himself, while were going to share with Lauren. They both konked out in no time at all.

The adults probably stayed up only 30 or 60 minutes later than the kids, and then everyone sort of disappeared. Doug and I looked at each other with wide eyes and said, "It's only 10 o'clock...what are we going to DO?!?!" (Hey, YOU try going to bed a good four hours early and see how ready to sleep you are!) Of course there was no way we either could or would go anyplace (what, and leave the kids alone? On their first big Scout trip? I don't think so!), so we resigned ourselves to sleep, or something like it.

In all, I'd say the night was completely impossible for both adults, pretty good for Lauren, and just peachy-great for David. I considered getting up at 4 a.m. and just building a &*^%$! fire and sitting out there, but stayed put anyway. I probably got a whole hour of sleep, if that. I was a little cold, but it was the painfully hard sleeping surface that did me in the most. I heard two people get up and then crawled out myself. I heard David unzip his sleeping bag at the same time and come out, and he looked surprised to see me. The sun wasn't quite up yet.

I grabbed a cold frappuccino which I'd set outside the tent (automatic refrigeration, and I figured I'd need caffeine in the morning, anyway) and went over to what I expected to be a warm campfire. Nada.

The guy was trying to light a pile of charcoal (charcoal?) with a dead butane lighter. "Do you happen to have any matches?" he asked rather sheepishly. "This thing...kinda...ran out of juice."
"You bet," I said, and went and fetched my little fire stash: 15 BBQ matches and a handful of Duraflame bricks (in case of wet wood) in a plastic ziplock baggie. He examined it with some interest and then pulled out a match and tried to convince the fire to start. This had extremely limited success, so he then started to pour lighter fluid all over the charcoal to get it going.

At this point, half of me is just totally confused (why in heaven's name is he using charcoal? Who uses charcoal to start a campfire?) and the other half is biting my tongue over the totally non-self-sufficient method this is teaching the kids. If you're stranded in the woods, you sure as hell aren't likely to have charcoal, butane lighters, or 24 ounces of lighter fluid on you! I concluded I was being far too much of a purist, and told myself to shut up. Just let the man make a fire.

It eventually got going, and he put a grate over the thing and started putting pots and pans on the grate. He was the only one, however, who was going to actually cook. The rest of us copped out with apples, bananas and granola bars for breakfast. (We weren't sure if this was going to be car camping or hiking several miles into the woods camping, so we were trying to keep it light.)

The kids snarfed down the granola bars, and David was insanely interested in the fire...he ran all around the campsite looking for tiny sticks to throw into the fire. Eventually we convinced him to just start putting the sticks into the firewood pile for kindling. We also sort of got in trouble (really, really minor trouble) for letting him toss in sticks and push wood into the fire. Apparently the safety rule is that kids aren't allowed to set foot into the fire ring, only the adults. So reaching the fire becomes problematic for the kids, since the fire ring in the campsite is HUGE!! This makes a lot of sense, of course, but then our kids have had more experience with fires than most other kids, so we didn't feel a real for him to keep his distance.

Most of the kids got up pretty quickly, and took off through the bracken and down the hill. ??? Apparently there was a dry creek bed down there which was being utilized as a play area. David asked if he could go play, and I said, "Well, can you see where they are down there?" A fellow Scout dad said, "Oh, I know where they are. C'mon, David, want me to show you?" He was giddy with excitement and followed right along. Lauren gave me a desperate look and said, "I want go, too!" "Alright, go ahead," I said and she spun around and ran after them.

After a bit one of the other dads came up and said, "Uh...Lauren really wants to cross the bridge down there. We've been trying to talk her out of it, but then she started to negotiate with us." I decided to go find out what the bridge was and what was going on. On the way down I ran into one of dads carrying Lauren back up the hill.
"I hear you've discovered our daughter is a little lawyer," I said.
"Huh?"
"She'll argue and negotiate to a ridiculous level."
"Oh, well, yeah."
"Mommy, I want go across the bridge!" says Lauren.
"Well, let's go back to camp first and then we'll see about doing that later on, ok?"
"Oh. Ok."

There were probably 10-15 boys down there, and they had some huge scenario all cooked up. There was a tree which had fallen across the creek bed, so this was the "bridge," and I don't know exactly what the deal was, but part of the creek bed was a "mine" and some workers were required to haul rocks to the bridge, and others were "digging up dinosaur bones" on a hillside with a bunch of sticks. There was a bridge guard, somebody had put themselves in charge and they were busy directing everyone else. It didn't take long before Doug and Lauren came down, too, and I looked at Doug and said, "What IS it with boys and sticks? Every one of them has a stick. Look." One older boy hoisted a good-sized log onto his shoulder and announced loudly, "I found a bazooka!"
"Sticks rock," said Doug. "They're weapons. They're hiking staffs. They're everything."
The Den Leader was standing nearby and laughed. "There you go," he said, "Let's get some pugil sticks down here, let 'em knock each other off the bridge."
"Oh, good," I said. "Give 'em each a quarterstaff and them have at it?"
"Jeeze! At least I let them have some padding!"
"Wasn't that a Daffy Duck thing when we were kids? 'Oh, hee, ha-ha...uh..."
"Yeah! ...Guard, turn, parry, dodge, spin...uh..."
"...Thrust, whap!' How scary. We've all been warped!"

We all remember more from Saturday morning cartoons than we remember from our days at school!

The kids stayed down there having a good time until about 10 a.m., at which point they were rounded up and taken on a voluntary two-mile hike. This eventually led them to the top of a 120-foot high bluff, where we stopped David's Den and took their photo (see above). Even Lauren took this hike, and both kids did amazingly well for going two whole miles without a break. David kept up extremely well, and never complained at all. Lauren lagged a little bit, but considering her age, she did REALLY well, too! This not only fulfilled one of the Tiger Cub requirements, but also got them one step closer to the Outdoor Activity Award. At this point all he needs is two more activities to get it, which is pretty cool, IMO. He's up for his Bobcat Badge this Wednesday, assuming the paperwork all goes through.

The only other news is that I got out of class early. It was a midterm, and we were given a bunch of photos and told exactly what kind of site to put together. I got to work on it, and noticed that the guy next to me got bogged down and stuck. Since it was a midterm, I couldn't help him out. After an hour or so, I had almost all of it completed...I just needed to make five or six links I'd have it done. It became apparent that everyone else...and I mean every, single person in the class, was stuck and could not finish the test. The professor went through the class person by person and asked how they were doing.
"Stuck."
"Stuck."
"Stuck."
"Stuck."
He got to me.
"15 more minutes and I'm done."
"For real?"
"For real."
"Alright, go for it. The rest of you, look up here."
I finished the project, double-checked that it worked properly, saved it onto my Flash drive. The professor decided that since everyone would fail, this project wouldn't be a midterm, but would be worth a grade.
"Kel, are you done?"
"Done."
"Ok, get out of here, have a good rest of the day."

I considered myself ahead of the rest of them, but not THAT far ahead.

Lethal boredom, magic cures

I have decided to skip class today. We're supposed to be practicing making websites for the midterm exam, and frankly, we did that Monday, too. I almost died of boredom, and having escaped one potentially lethal situation, I'm not eager to run into another. Besides, I've already officially failed the class...which points out some of the inherent stupidity of the system in place...so my competitive edge is gone anyway. So I'm not going. (I have failed, by the way, because this is a community college, and they have an attendance policy. Since I actually WORK in the field they're trying to teach, I have a little thing called deadlines, which must be met. If you miss three classes during any one semester it's an automatic "F." So despite the fact that I'm a professional graphic designer who could kick any one of these kids around the block when it comes to web code and design, I have an "F" for living in the real world, living up to my contractual obligations and making deadline. ?!!? Wow. Bureaucracy as education. For the win!)

I have, at least for now, solved my badge problem. Lots of bad stuff has been said about the product Badge Magic. I hear that it goes on great, but you can't get the patches back OFF again, should you wish to do so. People have, in fact, ripped uniforms trying to get them off. I think this is due to a lack of direction and understanding. Most of these folks are just grabbing the patches and pulling. They've put a very strong adhesive on them and then try to pull it off...it's going to probably rip the uniform. The website says you can use any solvent to take the badges off (they recommend Goof Off)...and the neatest trick in the hat, IMO, is that if/when you want to remove all the patches, simply dry clean the damned uniform. Dry cleaning is a solvent, it will remove all the adhesive. All you have to do it ask them to dry clean it in a bag so that you can recover your patches afterward. The only downside to that which I can see is that I was counting on getting the shirt cleaned and pressed twice a year to keep it looking good, but I think I can make that sacrifice. If it starts to look too darned awful I'll just wash it and get it starched and ironed again. That'll perk it right up.

So...I stuck all the badges on last night. You have a big sheet of stickiness, all the patches are outlined on the sheet...you peel off the protective covering for the badge you want to attach, press the patch on the sticky part, peel the patch off and the adhesive comes with it, tuck in the extra, and stick it to the shirt. Rub hard with a spoon, then throw it in the dryer for 10 minutes. Done. Dry clean to remove 'em all in another year or so.

We're supposed to go camping this weekend. It's cold...OK, 60 degrees...and rainy and the wind is blowing and I keep shivering thinking of camping in this. It's a Boy Scout event, of course. It's supposed to get down to 48 degrees the night we stay out there. I feel a trip to the Alpine Shop coming on! I was also flipping through my favorite camping book in the world, and thought, "I should tell the Den Leaders about his book." When I went to the Scout Shop to get the Badge Magic, I saw the book on the shelf under the camping stuff. Ah! So they know about it already! It was kind of validating, actually. The authors also have a book out on backcountry skiing. (These guys are serious. They camp under tarps.)

Speaking of which....I should probably feed the cats, start the laundry, grab lunch, and go through the camping list. 'Tis time.

Scout Badges from Hell

My life has been absolutely consumed by Scouts. I can't imagine having a large family with several members being Scouts in different Dens/Packs/Troops/Murders, what have you. There would be no time left to BREATHE.

So. This weekend has been insane. The week has been insane. We had two Den meetings, roller skating lessons, a birthday party and Fright Fest, just to begin with.

So Den Meeting #1 was with "our" Den...the one we've been assigned based on address. So we show up and are greeted by the two Den Leaders, and I haven't even written our names down on name tags before David is out the back door like a shot, gleefully joining the rest of the guys in the backyard on the playset. He looks so darned grown up in his little uniform, dutifully sliding the glass door closed behind him. (Look! I finally got it into his head to close the door! Success!)

Two kids are out of uniform (is that allowed?) and two of the kids I instantly recognize as being from our neighborhood. So I know two of the parents. That's the good news. And the bad news. (We're the black sheep of the neighborhood, you see. There's safety in anonymity.)

The Den Leaders corral the kids, have them do the opening ceremony for the meeting (which includes saluting the flag and doing the pledge of allegiance, which David is at a loss about...that's probably the one thing that he REALLY could have used in school that he didn't get.)

Then the guys pass out ropes and the boys learn how to tie lariats. While the Leaders are helping out the last few boys figure out their knots, the rest of them have grown restless. And a restless boy with a rope is generally not a good thing. Especially if he understands the very basic concept of what a lariat is used for. True to form, about half the boys take off, and before you know it, four of them have lassoed the fenceposts, and are tugging with all their might to pull the fence down. (Ah, G-d bless QuikCrete!) Eventually they are forced to release the fence (much grumbling ensues) and they line up to practice lassoing stick horses! The fabled mounts had been stuck in the dirt in the garden expressly for this purpose. I was so impressed...it was quite creative and I regretted not having my camera on hand.

It was getting dark after that, so they brought the boys inside and, joy of joys, passed out three cookies each, and Gatorade (which David thinks tastes like "medicine."), and one of the Den Leaders pulled out a guitar. He pulled a chair close to the packed kitchen table where the sqirmy little boys in blue sat crunching their cookies and giggling, and started playing "Old Mac Donald Had A Farm." He will call on each boy to name an animal, and since this is Down On The Farm Week, you pick a farm animal. Ready? So he plays the first verse, and says...
"And on this farm he had a.....OK, David, go!"
"MOOSE!"
Well, not only did that so totally NOT qualify as a farm animal, but it also compounded the issue by asking just what the heck a moose SAYS, too. They went with a sort of bellowing effect, which the boys all thought was hilarious.
"Sorry," I said to the other Den Leader, out of earshot of the boys. "We just got back from Canada, you see." I think they thought I was joking. Oh well.

They rounded out the evening by giving the boys lima beans in a bag full of potting soil...you were to go home and pour water into the bag, and eventually you'd have a sprout going and could look at the root structure through the plastic. They said our field trip would be to a pumpkin farm...and to just wait for details.

I asked David how he liked it and he said, "Good! Much better than the Pack Meeting!" I had to agree, but told him to hang on...he'd been to two Pack Meetings (cried at both) and now he'd go to two Den Meetings.

The next day was Den Meeting #2, the one with his friend in it. We went to the Den Meeting ourselves this time, and ended up being 10 minutes late. (Sigh.) The meeting here was at the friend's school...it looks like the Pack Meetings are at the school, and the Den Meetings are at the school, too. David picked a desk and sat down, and we got our craft kit...we were making scrapbooks. He wrote "Tiger Cubs" on the front (with a backwards "S") and then you had specific stickers for specific pages, and you had to leave room for photos that would be placed in it later on. He did that, and put his name on the back, and then waved at his friend and the two made faces at each other. After you turned in your completed scrapbook, you went to the front and got a baggie full of change, and you had to show 3 ways of making 25 cents. We did that, and got to the point of, "So if you use all your nickels and these two pennies, how much more do you need to make 25 cents?" before we turned it back in.

They collected all the stuff, announced that the field trip for that month would be to the school library, where they would show the boys the History section, and they started to pack up. David's friend was in the back of the room, and his friends from school came over and three or four of them started to practice karate on one another. David held back from all of this, as he "doesn't like to play 'Fight.'" One kid got a couple of particularly tough licks in before he left...I wondered if the friend would show a bruise later on. I asked the Leaders if they needed any help packing up or carrying stuff, and they said no, so we left. David immediately wanted to go play at his friend's house, and was disappointed to learn that it was nearly bedtime.

Then came the weekend.

Early on Saturday we had skating lessons. Lauren claimed that the roller skates which fit her last week were now too tight. Since her shoes were hard to get on, this didn't exactly shock me. So they gave her one size up, and she came back off the rink complaining that the wheels "are too tight, they not slippy enough!" They couldn't find a wrench the right size to loosen the wheels, tried two more pair which were identically tight, and finally gave her a size 10 with free-spinning wheels. But after half an hour on those, she complained of sore feet, undoubtedly because they were too big. The instructor continues to be amazed by her progress, but warns that she won't get up much speed just yet...she doesn't weigh enough! I'm considering buying her a pair of skates of her own, but YOU just try to find good quality skates in a juvenile size 9! Talk about mission impossible!

Once the lessons were over (and David went too, amazingly enough), we stopped at the Scout Shop to pick up the rest of the badges/patches that we needed, which included the Council shoulder patch, Den and Pack Numbers, and a couple of other items, I can't even remember what they called them. David was thrilled over the concept of matching socks, too, so we ended up getting those, an adult Tiger Cubs t-shirt (oh my!) and I got him some (cheap! wow!) wooden cutouts for his wall that spell out "Do Your Best." We also swung by Toys R Us in order to get a gift certificate for a birthday party for another neighbor...who, coincidentally, is in the same Cub Scout Den! (Surprise!)

We got home just in time to grab Dad, eat lunch, and stuff the kids into costume for the birthday party. (It was a Halloween theme.) Dad agreed to take the kids over so that I could hit the store and (A) look for an orange turtleneck to go under the Scout uniform for David, and (B) have time to sew the 6 or 7 patches onto his shirt before the event that evening.

I got to Target, only to see a big sign saying, "FLU SHOTS, TODAY! While supplies last!" This made me spin on my heel and leave. Every time I go someplace where they're giving out flu shots, I GET THE FLU! To hell with that! Ok, so no turtleneck. We'll make due with grey or something, I don't care, as long as I don't have to be in that store! I hit Wal-Mart...no turtlenecks at ALL, thank-you-very-much. I also looked for thread, asked the workers there, and they tried to hand me something called "Patch Attach." I'd already heard of "Badge Magic," which got great reviews for putting patches ON, but heaven help you if you wanted to take them OFF again. As the kid grows, you usually want to transfer their badges onto the new shirt, so this permanent glue idea was NOT a good idea. I said as much, and they then steered me over to a spool of clear thread. Didn't even know there was such a thing!

Thrilled, I went home. Got the sewing machine set up. Threaded the clear thread through the thing. Gather the shirt and patches. Realized with horrified dismay that the sleeves on the kid's shirt are so small that I can't slip them over the sleeve insert and under the needle. It simply can't be done. Well, that takes me down to one single patch on the chest to sew on. I set up the patch. I lower the presser foot. I set up a zig-zag stitch and slowly start the needle going.

= SPROIK! =

Wait, what's "sproik?" What did THAT mean? To my amazement and rising anger, I see that the sewing machine needle is now curved at a 30-degree angle.
It.
Broke.
My.
Sewing.
Machine.
I check my watch. 45 minutes to go. Fine. I will sew the damned things on by hand. I had to drive 17 miles from home to get these patches, there is no way I'm not going to attach at least one! I threaded the needle. Let me say that again. I threaded the needle. For which, I might add, *I* MYSELF should get a merit badge, because I dare any one of you to thread a tiny sewing needle using CLEAR THREAD!
mutter, grumble
I position the ginormous Council patch on the shoulder...the Council patch, which looked so nifty and creative at the store, and which now looks to be the size of a manhole cover...and tried to push the needle through the thing from the bottom, only to discover that it has the same HARDNESS as a manhole cover, too. Clearly, there is no way to sew on these damned badges without some kind of divine intervention or military riveting machine.

After some perfunctory swearing, I put the rest of the stuff away, admitted defeat, and went over to meet Doug at the birthday party. We stayed for a little while, and then needed to leave in order to get David to this Halloween Scout thing. (ARRRGH! Does it never end?!?!)

OUT of the costume he goes, INTO the uniform he goes, and he and I and the Scout friend drive up to the place where we're meeting for the caravan. The Fright Fest is specifically for Cub Scouts, and is put on by the area Boy Scouts. It's one of their big service things. You have to reserve your spot for a particular time, and drive out to a Boy Scout camp out in the middle of nowhere.

We did sack races, and tossing beanbags into a bucket, and crawling under a parachute to tag team members...we had a hayride, we went through a haunted house...which was a first for Mr. David. It was all good and fine...mildly scary...until the Pirate Ship. There he had to climb up a ladder to the deck of the ship, and there was a masked guy up at the top, and David just froze. He didn't cry, but he also wasn't about to go up the ladder, either, and he simply froze on the fourth rung, unsure about what to do. Wavering. He started to sort of climb back down. There were a ton of people behind us...all of whom either HAD a Tiger Cub with them, or had been through the Tiger Cub stage already.
"You're alright, buddy! It's OK!"
"Go ahead, you can do it!"
The guy at the top of the ladder disappeared for two seconds, and reappeared with no mask. Now he was a friendly Scout Leader. "Come on up!" He said. David looked up. He looked around at all the people behind him. Grown-up voices urged him on.
"You're OK!"
"It's alright!"
"Go ahead!"
He slowly starting climbing the ladder again.
"Come on up! That's it!"
A few cheers. Reaffirming noises.
He reached the top.
"Good job, you did it!" said the Scout Leader as David stumbled onto the deck. "Why don't you go over there and get some candy?"

There was a wooden, old-fashioned coffin sitting there with a pull handle, which read, "Open for Candy." David's friend was looking on in fiendish anticipation. "Open it, open it!" he said. This gave David pause. He looked at me. "I don't know, " I said. "Is it a trick or a treat?" The coffin opened and a teenager painted as a vampire sat up, held out a gumball towards David and gently said, "Happy Halloween!"
"It's both!" I said. David was still somewhat bewildered. He took the candy, watched the guy lay back down and close the lid and then looked at me quizzically and said, "He shut the box."
"He sure did."
I think his little engineering brain was about to pop...none of this made sense.

Next was the haunted forest.

I wasn't sure how he was going to like this. They had a bunch of luminaries lining the path through the forest, and you went through single-file. It was fairly tame...mostly they made noises at you, and there was one chick dressed in a white robe with a snake staff who kept asking all the Cub Scouts to be her friend. He came out of that pretty confident, saying, "I'm not afraid of anything!"

Of course after that, we were supposed to go through a maze filled with fog and strobe lights and monsters...which the friend's mom and I decided we should skip. "Why?!?" demanded David. "Because I want you to sleep tonight," I replied.

We walked back to the main center and David got to color a mask, and then they picked up a goody bag filled with bits of candy, spider rings, Halloween jokes and their own camping flashlights. (Very smart, Energizer.)

We drove back towards home...it was past their bedtime by this point, and we still hadn't eaten dinner. We stopped by Burger King and ate, and then went home, and I put David to bed. He almost fell asleep once, and then woke up crying, because NOW he was afraid of the haunted house/forest/everything else. Dad came upstairs and sympathized with him. David wanted him to see the goody bag and we said there was a light in there. Dad dug out the new flashlight, and I wrapped it around his stuffed leopard's neck. These two talismans together proved strong enough to chase away the bad thoughts, and we didn't hear another word from him all night.

The place where they held the Fright Fest is, apparently, built to be Little Boy Heaven. I think it must have been a blast to be on this committee...I can see a bunch of grown men saying, "OK, what would have been the most amazing thing in the world when I was a kid? Let's build that."

They have a place to go swimming in the river...and so much more:

Castle Blackhawk -- Located high on a hillside is a castle with a dungeon, attack ladder, catapult, and slide. Knights of Yore theme is a natural in this area.

Eagle's Nest Tower -- Located behind Castle Blackhawk on one of the highest points of the camp is the Eagle's Nest Tower. A three-level tower more than 20 feet high offers a spectacular view of the surrounding countryside.

Webelos Way Obstacle Course -- A series of physical challenges.

Maze -- Have fun trying to get through the many corridors of the maze. Only one way is correct, so don't be surprised if you find many dead ends.

Fort Hussmann -- This area provides your Webelos the chance to dream about life in a frontier fort. The area contains a fort, fire ring and picnic tables.

Sea Wolf Pirate Ship -- Relive the days of Blackbeard the Pirate. The ship contains cannons, knotting racks, sails and rigging.

Lost Mine -- Sand and tunnels abound in this unique area. A miner's cabin with a potbelly stove is a major feature, along with an ore wagon and panning for gold in Antire Creek.

Dens or packs can ask to use the area and reserve whatever parts they want. Is it just me, or can you see 10-30 little boys having a hell of a good time here? After they're done with this stuff they can toast marshmallows around the campfire and fall into a tent at the end of the day.

Wow.

Tiger Cub Scouts

Well, we had our second Pack meeting. Or, rather, our first. Sort of.

Y'all know how David's first official Pack Meeting went, which was rather poorly. His buddy down the street is also joining Scouts, but since he's going through his (private) school, it's a different Pack. He invited David to come to his Pack Meeting, to see how he liked it. I wanted to compare a couple of different Packs, so this was fine with me.

They are, apparently, ahead of our pack in terms of getting started...the kids are already working on patches and beads, whereas our area hasn't even had the first Den meeting yet.

The neighbors came and picked us up after dinner, and the two boys talked in the backseat the entire way there.

We got to the school, and David followed along happily. He colored the little piece of paper they gave him and put his name on it and I taped it to his shirt. He and the neighbor kid took off, racing around the gym and playing tag. Pretty soon some other boys that the neighbor kid knows started to arrive, and David was introduced to them. Pretty soon he was running around playing freeze tag with all of them...probably about 7 in total.

Soon they had to sit down and watch some awards...David was the only Tiger scout (A) without regional/Pack patches on his uniform, and (B) not being awarded the bobcat patch, since we haven't even had a single Den meeting yet. I felt sorry for him because of that, but he seemed just as happy not to have to go stand in front of a lot of people anyway.

After many awards for many different scouts (a couple of sports ones, lots of new Bobcats, and a bunch of citizenship/heritage awards for scouts who had gone on a campout at the Daniel Boone home to learn about history), one of the Leaders said, "OK, are you ready to HAVE FUN?!?" All the little Tiger scouts...mine included...stood up and shouted "YEAH!!!!"

It was to be a relay race, with a potato. You had to roll it across the floor with your nose before passing it off to the next person. They were explaining this, and all of the Tigers got up and moved to wherever they were supposed to be in the gym...and David sat still. The Leader who'd gotten the boys moving came over to him and knelt down and said, "Are you new? What's your name?"
"David."
"David, it's good to meet you...you look a little unhappy."
Tears spilled down David's cheeks. The Leader was shocked.
"Hey...what's the matter, buddy?"
By this time the Tiger Cubs Leader had noticed something odd, and came over to investigate.
I couldn't hear David's answer, only the Leader's response.
"You don't want to play the game? Well that's OK, you don't have to play if you don't want to. All we ask here is that you Do Your Best and have fun! It's OK....would you like to sit over there next to your mom?"
David shook his head no.
"No? Well...would you like to watch?"
He nodded.
"OK, well, c'mon then!" He took David by the hand and kind of half-ran with him at a crouch, taking him to the side of the gym and sitting him down on the sidelines. "Now you can join in anytime you want to, OK?" He nodded.
The Tiger Cub leader now was looking to me for an explanation. Why was my kid so derranged?
"He's like that," I said. "He did the same thing at our Pack meeting, he just...doesn't do well with big crowds." I was secretly pleased that he didn't want to sit on my lap the whole time, but would rather go sit on the sideline. It seemed like improvement to me.

After the race David came walking over to me and said, "Mom, I like this Pack better."

Mind you, we're already signed up and paid dues with the other Pack. The one that hasn't started yet. Sigh.

This time David sat next to his friend, and the Pack started the closing ceremony. They were taking the flag out and his buddy sort of smacked David's arm and said, "Salute, David!" David looked startled and quickly put two fingers up to the brim of his hat. (Gosh, peer pressure really works well, doesn't it?)

Immediately afterwards the group of Tiger Cubs all took off for an empty part of the gym to resume their game of tag, and David was right there in the middle of them, being "It" and going after everyone. Pretty soon a Wolf scout joined in, and then a Boy Scout in the kakhi uniform (older, probably 4th or 5th grade) came over and introduced himself, asked if David was new, welcomed him to the Pack, asked who was "It" and dutifully played tag with them for a little while.

After a bit, the friend showed David his classroom, and the two boys were laughing and joking all the way to the car, and talked all the way home.

I told all this to Doug and now we seem to be at a somewhat uncomfortable crossroads.

On the one hand, the Den that he's signed up in has a Leader who wants to do all the outdoorsy stuff that he likes. It has two male Den Leaders, which I also think would be nice. Since David has no uncles and no grandfathers left, he's surrounded by women...his mom, his sister, two grandmas...and his one and only male role model is his Daddy. While Daddy is wonderful, I also don't think that he should have the shoulder the entire spectrum of masculinity of human kind to pass that on to his son. I was seeing Scouts as a good way to get him exposed to some other dads committed to their sons, to model various ways of being a good man, and get him into a "tribe," which seems to be a sort of male phenomenon. (Think: sports teams)

He hasn't been to the Den meetings yet, but the Pack meeting for that particular group didn't go well. We couldn't convince him to interact with anybody, and he ended up on his Daddy's lap for most of it.

This new Pack is led by two women, one of whom he knows quite well, and where the activities appear to be mainly crafts...scrapbooking and such. Hardly the outdoors stuff that David enjoys, and no male role models to speak of. The Pack itself, however seems to be smaller, has one friend in it, and he was happy to play with the other boys, if not participate in the Pack games. The Pack itself also seemed more controlled, less chaotic. ("Private school," says Doug.)

After looking through the Tiger Scout book, it looks to me like most of the activities outlined in there are a given for all of the Dens, no matter who's leading them. If that is, indeed, the case, it seems to me a better plan to put the kid where he's most comfortable...we have some misgivings about it being the All-Friend-Channel, All-The-Time...we'd like to broaden his social horizons, give him more boys to play with...but he's like me, he doesn't make friends easily.

I was talking to another mom at the Pack meeting (we'd spent a few hours together during the 4th of July party) and she asked where David went to school. "He's homeschooled," I replied. "Really?" she said, "You must have the patience of an angel, I could never do that."

Hear that, everyone? I have the patience of an angel. Man, my epitaph is going to match Ralph's in a bit!

I shook my head vehemently. "No, I don't. David's an easy kid, he's really laid-back and a quick study. I don't think I could that with my daughter...I think I'd kill her. She's only three, but she's way, WAY more social than David...she wants to get right out there with everyone and make friends, she loves to work in groups...she's kind of built for school, you know? I have no fears at all that she'll do just fine. David just doesn't seem ready for all of that. At the very least I wanted to give him a couple of years to sort of catch up...and getting him into Scouts in also part of that, giving him an easier group to make friends with, join in with, get to know. I have him taking classes at the Science Center, I have him going to the GRC classes now and then, he's taking roller skating lessons...I'm trying to get him out there, but not in such an overwhelming way as school tends to be. Everything with him has to be very planned and very gradual. I'm sort of playing this one by ear for now."

Picture Fun

Doug's writing some new software for World of Warcraft users, helps them organize their raid teams or some such.

Anyway, I'm doing graphics. Here's the finished piece:











Which came from these:



























For the software side, this is the WoW Raid Manager.