Tiger Cub Scouts

Well, we had our second Pack meeting. Or, rather, our first. Sort of.

Y'all know how David's first official Pack Meeting went, which was rather poorly. His buddy down the street is also joining Scouts, but since he's going through his (private) school, it's a different Pack. He invited David to come to his Pack Meeting, to see how he liked it. I wanted to compare a couple of different Packs, so this was fine with me.

They are, apparently, ahead of our pack in terms of getting started...the kids are already working on patches and beads, whereas our area hasn't even had the first Den meeting yet.

The neighbors came and picked us up after dinner, and the two boys talked in the backseat the entire way there.

We got to the school, and David followed along happily. He colored the little piece of paper they gave him and put his name on it and I taped it to his shirt. He and the neighbor kid took off, racing around the gym and playing tag. Pretty soon some other boys that the neighbor kid knows started to arrive, and David was introduced to them. Pretty soon he was running around playing freeze tag with all of them...probably about 7 in total.

Soon they had to sit down and watch some awards...David was the only Tiger scout (A) without regional/Pack patches on his uniform, and (B) not being awarded the bobcat patch, since we haven't even had a single Den meeting yet. I felt sorry for him because of that, but he seemed just as happy not to have to go stand in front of a lot of people anyway.

After many awards for many different scouts (a couple of sports ones, lots of new Bobcats, and a bunch of citizenship/heritage awards for scouts who had gone on a campout at the Daniel Boone home to learn about history), one of the Leaders said, "OK, are you ready to HAVE FUN?!?" All the little Tiger scouts...mine included...stood up and shouted "YEAH!!!!"

It was to be a relay race, with a potato. You had to roll it across the floor with your nose before passing it off to the next person. They were explaining this, and all of the Tigers got up and moved to wherever they were supposed to be in the gym...and David sat still. The Leader who'd gotten the boys moving came over to him and knelt down and said, "Are you new? What's your name?"
"David."
"David, it's good to meet you...you look a little unhappy."
Tears spilled down David's cheeks. The Leader was shocked.
"Hey...what's the matter, buddy?"
By this time the Tiger Cubs Leader had noticed something odd, and came over to investigate.
I couldn't hear David's answer, only the Leader's response.
"You don't want to play the game? Well that's OK, you don't have to play if you don't want to. All we ask here is that you Do Your Best and have fun! It's OK....would you like to sit over there next to your mom?"
David shook his head no.
"No? Well...would you like to watch?"
He nodded.
"OK, well, c'mon then!" He took David by the hand and kind of half-ran with him at a crouch, taking him to the side of the gym and sitting him down on the sidelines. "Now you can join in anytime you want to, OK?" He nodded.
The Tiger Cub leader now was looking to me for an explanation. Why was my kid so derranged?
"He's like that," I said. "He did the same thing at our Pack meeting, he just...doesn't do well with big crowds." I was secretly pleased that he didn't want to sit on my lap the whole time, but would rather go sit on the sideline. It seemed like improvement to me.

After the race David came walking over to me and said, "Mom, I like this Pack better."

Mind you, we're already signed up and paid dues with the other Pack. The one that hasn't started yet. Sigh.

This time David sat next to his friend, and the Pack started the closing ceremony. They were taking the flag out and his buddy sort of smacked David's arm and said, "Salute, David!" David looked startled and quickly put two fingers up to the brim of his hat. (Gosh, peer pressure really works well, doesn't it?)

Immediately afterwards the group of Tiger Cubs all took off for an empty part of the gym to resume their game of tag, and David was right there in the middle of them, being "It" and going after everyone. Pretty soon a Wolf scout joined in, and then a Boy Scout in the kakhi uniform (older, probably 4th or 5th grade) came over and introduced himself, asked if David was new, welcomed him to the Pack, asked who was "It" and dutifully played tag with them for a little while.

After a bit, the friend showed David his classroom, and the two boys were laughing and joking all the way to the car, and talked all the way home.

I told all this to Doug and now we seem to be at a somewhat uncomfortable crossroads.

On the one hand, the Den that he's signed up in has a Leader who wants to do all the outdoorsy stuff that he likes. It has two male Den Leaders, which I also think would be nice. Since David has no uncles and no grandfathers left, he's surrounded by women...his mom, his sister, two grandmas...and his one and only male role model is his Daddy. While Daddy is wonderful, I also don't think that he should have the shoulder the entire spectrum of masculinity of human kind to pass that on to his son. I was seeing Scouts as a good way to get him exposed to some other dads committed to their sons, to model various ways of being a good man, and get him into a "tribe," which seems to be a sort of male phenomenon. (Think: sports teams)

He hasn't been to the Den meetings yet, but the Pack meeting for that particular group didn't go well. We couldn't convince him to interact with anybody, and he ended up on his Daddy's lap for most of it.

This new Pack is led by two women, one of whom he knows quite well, and where the activities appear to be mainly crafts...scrapbooking and such. Hardly the outdoors stuff that David enjoys, and no male role models to speak of. The Pack itself, however seems to be smaller, has one friend in it, and he was happy to play with the other boys, if not participate in the Pack games. The Pack itself also seemed more controlled, less chaotic. ("Private school," says Doug.)

After looking through the Tiger Scout book, it looks to me like most of the activities outlined in there are a given for all of the Dens, no matter who's leading them. If that is, indeed, the case, it seems to me a better plan to put the kid where he's most comfortable...we have some misgivings about it being the All-Friend-Channel, All-The-Time...we'd like to broaden his social horizons, give him more boys to play with...but he's like me, he doesn't make friends easily.

I was talking to another mom at the Pack meeting (we'd spent a few hours together during the 4th of July party) and she asked where David went to school. "He's homeschooled," I replied. "Really?" she said, "You must have the patience of an angel, I could never do that."

Hear that, everyone? I have the patience of an angel. Man, my epitaph is going to match Ralph's in a bit!

I shook my head vehemently. "No, I don't. David's an easy kid, he's really laid-back and a quick study. I don't think I could that with my daughter...I think I'd kill her. She's only three, but she's way, WAY more social than David...she wants to get right out there with everyone and make friends, she loves to work in groups...she's kind of built for school, you know? I have no fears at all that she'll do just fine. David just doesn't seem ready for all of that. At the very least I wanted to give him a couple of years to sort of catch up...and getting him into Scouts in also part of that, giving him an easier group to make friends with, join in with, get to know. I have him taking classes at the Science Center, I have him going to the GRC classes now and then, he's taking roller skating lessons...I'm trying to get him out there, but not in such an overwhelming way as school tends to be. Everything with him has to be very planned and very gradual. I'm sort of playing this one by ear for now."